This life is filthy. I should be dead and buried but I’m still here somehow. My liver and lungs are rotting. I’m fatigued from the hangover. What day is it darling? I often forget. The world’s changing and I’m changing with it. Borderline personality disorder’s corroding my existence. I’m drinking gin most nights, reflecting on … Continue reading Well Mr. Brizell it seems that the world’s changing
The exit on your left leads to your mother’s uterus
I'm sat down, I've done a few lines of cocaine and then with a screech it all comes out; Ben, we're bored of all that tits and ass business. This is 2020! We want adventure, a space opera, with fluffy bears. Oh, we want great medieval dramas at war for the very freedom you have. … Continue reading The exit on your left leads to your mother’s uterus
Ambivalence is the key
Welcome back to the shitshow. I'll finger you like it's our last night out at McCooley's. My head swirls with liquor stained imagery. I can't tell what's real and what's not anymore. It's a postmodern existential crisis at its finest. If one more person takes a crap selfie, gives it a shit caption and slaps … Continue reading Ambivalence is the key
Today’s dance floor
Honey, pull me down to the floor. Lick my face with your lust and tell me all your secrets. Fuck me senseless. Ride me like it's the morning after the apocalypse and we're the only survivors. Sure I've been around the bend and back again in just my underwear and loafers, but at the end … Continue reading Today’s dance floor
Discomfort
On 4:44 Jay-Z rapped 'if everybody's crazy, you're the one that's insane' he wasn't wrong. i'm looking around, at everyone, at myself; i'm looking too deep for my own good and being unsettled by what i see; cheating, degradation, self-harm, self-loathing, hell, that's just scratching away at the cracked porcelain surface. The world's insane and … Continue reading Discomfort
Oh Mr. Brizell, what have you done now?
Does time ever stop? I'm clinging onto the clock hands, but i'm slipping. you're all watching, waiting for me to slip. i know no one's gonna catch me. i'm lost in the hate of myself. the nightmares are back. Since June nothing has changed. i'm stuck in a painfully torturous cycle. ben goddamn you talk … Continue reading Oh Mr. Brizell, what have you done now?
2018: Madness masquerading as sanity
I awake feeling sad, broken and wishing I felt none of these things. Tomorrow i’m waking up alone and going to remember everything that once could have been. The world has a hell of a right hook, i never expected a black eye that bad. words bite, inexperience harms, i wish that had been pinned … Continue reading 2018: Madness masquerading as sanity
i wander the woods in my dreams and hope to find an answer to my existential crises, i find only nothing
Time is passing me by, and I don’t have a hold on it or life anymore. Meanwhile Pitchfork today just gave two best new music tags to the new albums by Earl Sweatshirt and The 1975, both well deserved. On the other side of today today I found myself awake at 4 am my head … Continue reading i wander the woods in my dreams and hope to find an answer to my existential crises, i find only nothing
Poem: Futility
The day is new, and I'm already exhausted. Fuck the world, and the english ambassadors. Nightmare's in the news, because something has to bring Britain to a screeching halt, hopelessness pervades my every thought, self-loathing pervades every painkiller i take. The public transport stops at the latest decrepit bus stop, and a train derails it’s … Continue reading Poem: Futility
Watching Bojack Horseman on anti-depressants
Well hell, there's a need to overdo it with painkillers and spiritual self-harm, till even the Grim Reaper knows I'm too far gone. Things change? I bet you've heard that one before? Christ I've said it too many times before, let's see if it sticks. A loved one told me, 'running' helps with your depression. It … Continue reading Watching Bojack Horseman on anti-depressants
