Where the title came from? The corridors of my mind, whilst I sat idly listening to Deftones enveloped in the moment. My computer screen blank.
Now I sit in a macdonalds still listening to Deftones, thinking of the girl who long ago said she blocked out all her bad memories, to the point where she wasn’t reliable to recite them to me.
I asked if she was okay, I said I would listen to her, if ever needed someone to speak to. She said thanks, not interested in much, sadly.
From time to time, I wonder how that girl feels now, where her life headed and if she found a functioning relationship that gave her her much yearned for seriousness.
Me and that girl had a past, my mistake meant we would lose contact. Her life seemed to devolve from there. I would often here people talking of what she got up to, and I always felt saddened by it.
I can see what drives people to self-harm and suicide. The complete break down of hope and the need for something that just won’t come soon enough. It’s an awful fear, it crawls through your mind, pushing and pushing you to the edge of it. Then one day you may simply fall off the edge.
Be it the boy who wanted to just stay friends, or the leaked nudes passed around the school.
We humans aren’t particularly nice, we aren’t placed here for a special purpose, and instead of living our lives in bliss and peace, many kill and rape, nothing seems to want to change, things stay like this.
I leave with this notion, as I finish my drink, on this heinously warm day. No matter how stupid or embarrassing you think you may look when asking if that person is alright, just do it. Those words you say may change your life and their life forever, in the greatest way. You have nothing to lose either way.
Ben Brizell 