Where am I in my life right now, that I have been asked through countless loathsome moments.
You want the honest answer?
I’m nowhere- I’m with an attractive girl- not dating though just to make that point. I’m sat on the carpeted floor of my room, tapping away at the old computer, still listening to Father John Misty’s Fear fun. So much like last night.
Some days I feel like I’m under a warm and wet blanket, drowning in the light. Others I feel like I might have what I want.
You could say I’m just ignoring the inevitable, something’s coming to come and knock me square to the floor whether I like it or not- hell maybe I’m there already and I just don’t know it.
I mean I’m writing so I’m doing something worthwhile. This blog is something as well. Something to plunder every now and then whilst sleeping through the sounds of likes on a post.
Its a rather sweet thing to wake up to in the morning, with a bad headache, a concussion from the dreams of the night before; the computer and remote for the CD player laying upon me. It’s a damn shame she ain’t there laying with me.
Distance is a piece of shit,
I’ll tell you that along with a multitude of other things through these posts. That have less direction than I do. I’m unwilling to do the regular things every other normal person does, but my choices are dwindling. I’m in a state of perpetual floating. Messaging her everyday, is beautifully pleasant. My woes still there however, my gut still feeling the punch of last night’s heavy sleep.
It’s all so horrifying this little life thing. I’ve got no true idea of it all. I’m just tap, tap, fucking tapping away at this computer. My shirt open, wondering if the moon will eat the sun (I’d rather like that).
Now I’m off for a shower, guess I’ll make the usual adjustments to this little post here, and then you can all feast your eyes upon it. I guess the irony here is that this will have already been feasted upon. Though I don’t know how this will be consumed. I bring the unpredictable out.
Something, something, something; we’re all going to die and humanity is fucked; so go and relax.
Fuck your motivation, a moment is rather undefinable.
Ben Brizell 