I hated most things; though I found solace in solitude and writing, as well as music. I sat up in my room, listening to The Smiths The queen is dead loudly. I knew that education had failed me, the teachers so damn carefree had with carelessness fucked about with education and now here I was unsure of everything, filled with doubt and angst. Sat at my IBM Selectric wishing it had gone the way it had. I cursed my luck and my education. Damning the system that created the grades that determined our lives and our possibilities they left it up to A’s and C’s to tell us who the hell we where gonna be and whether or not it’d be another year in this fucking hellhole. I hated it. I was a teenage rebel looking for nothing, yearning for someone that I had but had then lost. I felt isolated, sat at this typewriter, listening to The Smiths alone on Saturday which I found to be more fun than venturing out into the decaying urban battlefield. On the occasions I did go outside I’d find myself writing angrily about my surroundings.
I laughed sat at my Selectric in my small home in Louisville, Kentucky wishing for a change to the fucked system, a change I knew wasn’t coming and never would. I began to bang away on my typewriter, feeling happiness as the words went from my mind and straight onto the pages, the sounds of the typewriter soothed my intolerable headache. I wrote about the fucked system and how education had failed me because of it’s carelessness and selfishness.
Ben Brizell 